when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
