so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
