but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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