I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
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Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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