idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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