I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
