Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
