brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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