I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My breath smells like gin and sadness
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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