I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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