Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
