my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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