i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize