So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
