Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize