im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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