Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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