hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
