If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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