Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
