JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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