We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize