it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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