Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize