i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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