Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
4 words: hood of his car
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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