did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
