Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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