Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
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I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize