I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
