there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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