He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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