why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
