how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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