i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
