is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
