You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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