"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
