this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
