Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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