I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The adults are the big ones right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
