it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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