I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My dick has a subreddit
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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