i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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