she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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