doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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