i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize