How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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