Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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