when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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