if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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