So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
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Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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