New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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