You really coming over, don't trick.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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